Yes, I Use Baby Talk With My Dogs. But Not for the Reason You Might Think.
"You need to go outside and go pee?" "Oh, are you sad because Daddy went bye-bye?" Yep. I do it. I try not to do it too much in front of others, but if someone were to hear the way I talk to my dogs, they would probably be disgusted, or at least worried.
But even though I call the two males "The Boys," I say good boy and good girl, I call myself "Mama"- I don't think of them as humans. They are dogs. They are not stand-ins for human children. You can't leave human children home alone in a crate.
The fact is, they think of me as their mom. Kind of. Foster mom, I guess. The dogs, my husband and I are a pack, and the leaders of a pack are the breeding pair: One male, one female. Mom and Dad. They know I'm not a dog- but they also know that I am filling the role of the Mom.
Notice I didn't use the term "Alpha." The breeding pair are also known as the Alpha Male and Alpha Female. But that term came from a study done in the 1930s that has now been mostly debunked. The social structure of a wolf pack is much more nuanced than some military-like hierarchy. Within a pack, dogs will have spaces and routines that they have carved out for themselves that they will guard, and other dogs will give way for. Starbuck is the king of the couch, while Apollo guards the front porch. Kaylee is always first ahead of everyone on walks. But Mark and I always have override authority- the same way parents do.
Don't get me started on applying the whole "Alpha" thing to people. That's just ridiculous beyond belief. People are not canines. If you really want to study an animal social hierarchy, look at chickens.
So yes, I will talk to my dogs like I would talk to a toddler. But not for the reason most people would think. They are not substitutes for human children, but I am a stand-in for their canine mom.
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